Skip to product information
1 of 7

Mil Usos

Total Cranarchy Multi-Use Balm

Total Cranarchy Multi-Use Balm

Innovative 5-in-1 Moisturizer

We made this for: ALL SKIN TYPES

Fragrance-free and no essential oils

Sustainability

+Made fresh in California, U.S.A.

+Utilizes upcycled cranberry seed oil that is sustainably sourced in the U.S.A.

+Aluminum tube is lightweight and endlessly recyclable.

+One do-it-all formula replaces multiple plastic bottles and eliminates unnecessary plastic waste.

+Concentrated AF: Waterless formula designed to replace complicated skincare routines. Save time, money, and space with fewer products and targeted ingredients.

How to Use

Total Cranarchy is designed to be the only moisturizing product you need for your entire body.

For scalp, face, and body moisture: Squeeze a tiny bit of Total Cranarchy into your hands - not too much, with a product this concentrated, a little dab’ll do ya. Apply to clean skin. Don’t forget your lips, scalp, pits, nether parts, and feet!

For oily skin: Apply a small amount to skin in the evening before bed. In the morning, simply splash with water and you're done!

For anti-chafe: Total Cranarchy creates a protective barrier for areas prone to high friction, such as the inner thighs, underarms, toes, and fingers. Apply and then get in those extra miles - no excuses!

For scalp and hair: For itchy scalp, apply Total Cranarchy to fingertips and then give yourself a nice scalp massage. For hair deep conditioning, apply to hair overnight and wash in the morning.

To remove makeup and sunscreen: Massage Total Cranarchy onto areas with heavy makeup or waterproof sunscreen before cleansing. Follow with Char Goals Everything Bar Cleanser for squeaky clean skin.

For odor control: After showering, apply a small amount of Total Cranarchy and thoroughly rub into skin. Allow your skin a few days to adjust before determining if additional deodorant is necessary.

3 fl. oz.

Regular price $52.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $52.00 USD
Sale Sold out
View full details

Put down the lotions and potions and follow us on the path to total personal care anarchy - or should we say - TOTAL CRANARCHY!

Total Cranarchy is a water-free moisturizing balm designed to undo the day's damage in one simple step.

Almost all lotions and creams are at least 80% water. These cheap and ineffective products don't heal the deeper layers of the skin.

Total Cranarchy Multi-Use Balm is concentrated AF so your skin gets a whopping dose of nutrients to stay clear, healthy, and unbelievably soft.

Our targeted bio-actives address multiple skin concerns at once, so you won't need anything else! For face, body, and scalp.

  • One-and-done formula effectively replaces:

    +Face moisturizers

    +Body Lotion

    +Hand and foot cream

    +Small wound care

    +Anti-chafe sticks

    +Scalp oil

    +Lip balm

    +Deodorant

  • Nothing but wins:

    +Fights breakouts on both face and body

    +Eliminates itchy scalp and prevents excess hair shedding

    +Provides a protective barrier to block chafing and blisters

    +Conditions hands after lifting to prevent future hand rips

    +Softens calluses and cracked feet

    +Quickly soothes redness, irritation, and itching

    +Heals sunburn, windburn, heat rash, abrasions, and bug bites

    +Bolsters skin against unwanted infections

    +Flaurix Biome Complex balances the skin microbiome for moderate odor protection - you may be able to ditch the deodorant for good!

Collapsible content

SPECS

Total Cranarchy is:

Waterless and concentrated

Free of sulfates, parabens, phthalates, essential oils, petrochemicals, silicones, and microplastics

Fragrance-free and undetectable by wildlife

Preservative-free

Non-comedogenic and suitable for oily skin

Made fresh in California, U.S.A.

HOW TO USE

Total Cranarchy is designed to be the only moisturizing product you need for your entire body.

For scalp, face, and body moisture: Squeeze a tiny bit of Total Cranarchy into your hands - not too much, with a product this concentrated, a little dab’ll do ya. Apply to clean skin. Don’t forget your lips, scalp, pits, nether parts, and feet!

For oily skin: Apply a small amount to skin in the evening before bed. In the morning, simply splash with water and you're done!

For anti-chafe: Total Cranarchy creates a protective barrier for areas prone to high friction, such as the inner thighs, underarms, toes, and fingers. Apply and then get in those extra miles - no excuses!

For scalp and hair: For itchy scalp, apply Total Cranarchy to finger tips and then give yourself a nice scalp massage. For hair deep conditioning, apply to hair overnight and wash out the next morning.

To remove makeup and sunscreen: Massage Total Cranarchy onto areas with heavy makeup or waterproof sunscreen before cleansing. Follow with Char Goals Everything Bar Cleanser for squeaky clean skin.

For odor control: After showering, apply a small amount of Total Cranarchy and thoroughly rub into skin. Allow your skin plenty of time to adjust before determining if additional deodorant is necessary. Individual results may vary.

FULL INGREDIENT LIST

The Whole Shebang -  Only the Sh*t You Need:

Ingredients:Caprylic/Capric/Lauric Triglycerides, Hemi-squalane, Polyglycerol-3 Beeswax, Cranberry Seed Oil, Jojoba Oil, Sea Buckthorn Berry Oil, Pomegranate Oil, Palmitoylated Green Tea Extract, Glyceryl Laurate, Zinc Oxide, Bakuchiol, Bisabolol, Tocotrienols, Lecithin, Lauryl Laurate, Stearyl Glycyrrhetinate, Tetrahydrocurcuminoids

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS

To increase product longevity: Do not squeeze the tube from the center. Squeeze from the top of the tube and slowly work your way down over time.

Targeted Actives That Work as Hard as You Do:

+ Cranberry Oil: antioxidant, rejuvenates skin

+Bakuchiol: gentle retinol alternative, anti-microbial

+Green Tea: sebum regulation, scalp rejuvenator

+Licorice: brightening, antimicrobial

+Bisabolol: anti-redness, hyperpigmentation

+Tocotrienols: repair sun damage

+Curcumin: soothing, anti-redness

+Glyceryl Laurate: antifungal

+Sea Buckthorn: antioxidant, repairs damaged skin

+Pomegranate: antioxidant, mature skin

+Jojoba: replenishes skin

+Lauric Triglycerides: balance skin microbiome

+Zinc Oxide: rash protection, odor absorption

  • Bakuchiol: This botanical extract has a proven effectiveness equal to prescription-strength retinol, but with none of the irritation. It dramatically renews stressed skin and boasts remarkable antibacterial properties.

  • Glyceryl laurate: An antifungal ingredient that is so safe it can be taken internally (please do not eat Total Cranarchy!). Multiple studies prove its effectiveness as a safe antimicrobial agent for clear, healthy skin.

  • Caprylic/Capric/Lauric Triglycerides: Derived from coconut oil, this lightweight emollient absorbs quickly and contains unique fatty acids that balance the skin's microbiome to help prevent odor and breakouts.

1 of 3

For external use only. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you suspect a skin infection, seek professional medical attention immediately.

The Hype is Real!

Read our happy customer experiences below: